An ode to my father

August 1 will mark eight years to the day my father passed away. I still remember all those years when he had begun to get frail, how I used to imagine and fear the day I would have to accept and come to terms with his passing. And of course, as everyone you know says, nothing you imagine really prepares you for the actual event. Or its ever after consequence. That this person who has been around you for nearly as long as you remember yourself is suddenly silent, unmoving, gone.

But I also surprised myself by feeling at times, on the day, and a few days after, a complete lack of self-pity or sentiment. I found myself thinking and sort of knowing that he was elsewhere and fine. And that he or something or someone was letting me and my mother know that it was alright.

That feeling hasn’t stayed over the years, nor has the lack of self-pity. But at the time, it was startling in its force and clarity.

I was asked by the priest who was conducting the final rites to chant the Gayatri mantra while I circumbulated my father’s body laid to rest underneath the canopy of an old tree in the crematorium grounds.

And as I did, I remember it began to drizzle and the sky turned a beautiful hue and a small gentle breeze picked up, rustling the leaves underfoot. I dont know how I managed it but I do remember looking up either while or at the end of the circumbulations with a grateful smile on my face. Something somewhere was letting me know that my dearest dad was out of here — was fine — and was somehow letting me know so.

Hello world!

Like a fellow mum/blogger/writer wrote recently, I find motherhood strings me out physically but makes my mind “unusually fertile”.
So although I dont have the hours in a day to really sit down, shut the world out and write notes or chapters that may lead to a book, I do have this. An amazing space I can come to when I do have the time and energy to jot down some of the hopefully less irrelevant ramblings that swirl in my mind nearly all the time.
I hope to stay in touch with some of you I have known for nearly all my life and hopefully meet and make new friends, fellow bloggers/writers who are also possibly finding out that this is a great way to return to writing, something, anything, everyday.
Love and luck to all of you on your individual journeys in this mesmerizing world.